‘Nobody fucks with the Jesus…’
One of the most wonderful things about Jesus Quintana from The Big Lebowski is that the Coen’s gave us just enough of him. He appears at the bowling alley with his ‘brother’ Liam. He stands up to Walter. He delivers one of the best lines in the movie (“pull the trigger until it goes click“). And then, as quickly as he arrived, he leaves. It’s note perfect. I can’t imagine a single soul watching that scene and thinking to themselves, “I need more of this guy”. As with Boba Fett, it is his enigmatic qualities that make the character so compelling. And yet, here we are…
The Jesus Rolls begins with our eponymous hero Jesus Quintana (John Turturro) being released from prison. His dalliance with 8-year-olds divulged in the source material is retconned as an (admittedly quite funny) misunderstanding. At the prison gates, he is reunited with his friend Petey (Bobby Cannavale). The two embark on an adventure that sees them stealing cars, robbing houses and hitchhiking by the side of the road with their muse and partner-in-crime Marie (Audrey Tautou). On the way, we also treated to cameos from Christopher Walken, Susan Sarandon, Jon Hamm and Pete Davidson.
On paper, that all sounds good. In practice, The Jesus Rolls never justifies its own existence. We aren’t given much insight into the character, but again, what insight would be valuable here? Writer, director and star Turturro has taken a one-joke character and tried to flesh him out into the driving force behind an 80-minute feature film. It simply doesn’t work. While the performances are fine and the Latin-infused soundtrack is great, The Jesus Rolls isn’t really funny or compelling. Put simply, there is no reason for this film to exist.