‘Wherever we go, whatever we do, we do it together. You are my home...’
I really don’t want to be unkind here but I’m afraid I’m going to have to be because Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is a terrible film. The title is terrible. The plot is terrible. The dialogue is truly terrible. The human cast are anonymous. The CGI, whilst often impressive, is so ubiquitous that it quickly becomes exhausting. The score is forgettable. Bad, bad, bad…
Jesus Christ, the plot of this movie. Truly, who gives a shit? Godzilla is there. Again. Kong is there. Again. And again they are fighting each other or fighting some other huge monster or some other shit. None of this is important. Despite a dead-eyed Rebecca Hall delivering exposition as if her life depended on it I still couldn’t decipher much of a plot here. Elsewhere, director Adam Wingard has hired two fine comedic actors in Brian Tyree Henry and Dan Stevens and has them delivering some of the most excruciatingly unfunny dialogue ever committed to celluloid. They must have known it was terrible. They must have known.
While I didn’t mind Wingard’s previous entry in this franchise (2021’s Godzilla vs. Kong), my own personal appetite for CGI slop has severely diminished since then. There must be a market for this kind of thing, the film was a box office success, and yet I can’t for the life of me how anybody can say their life is enriched by watching this film. Some people’s bank balances have surely been enriched, however, and I suppose that’s all that matters in this crazy world of ours.
Well, my time with this film has thankfully come to an end. Now, let us never ever speak its name again.
