‘Kong bows to no one…’
Freddy vs Jason. Alien vs Predator. Me vs an overwhelming sense of ennui. All are battles for the ages, but it’s safe to say that Godzilla vs Kong is one of the most hotly contested battles of all. A giant lizard. A giant ape. A giant hole where the rest of the plot should be. Who will win? Does it matter? Read on to find out…
Godzilla and King Kong must team up, or not team up, it’s never fully clear, to take on a variety of other terrifying monsters culminating in a climatic battle with Mechagodzilla – a foe so terrifying that he makes Megatron look like look like Budgie the Little Helicopter. There are also various humans in this movie, but literally none of them matter.
When being charged with making a movie entitled Godzilla vs Kong, you better make damn sure that the battle sequences are on point. Because there sure as shit ain’t gonna be much else going on away from the fighting. Director Adam Wingard does a great job in choregraphing the genuinely show-stopping SFX that bring the various monsters to life. There is an argument that the CGI in this movie is possibly the greatest example of the form. It really does look and sound incredible. Unfortunately, every single moment that doesn’t feature a Godzilla or a King Kong is incredibly tedious and mundane. The dialogue is truly awful throughout, none of the cast cover themselves in glory and the plot is unnecessarily convoluted.
That being said, I suppose when you show up for Godzilla vs Kong, it is Godzilla vs Kong that you wanna see. And in that regard, Wingard’s monster mashup has to be considered a success, of sorts.
Godzilla vs Kong is a dumb movie for dumb people. But as a proud, card carrying member of the idiot community, I found a lot here to enjoy. Just skip through the bits with humans talking and you’ll do just fine.