Film Review: Bend it Like Beckham – 6.5/10

‘All I’m saying is, there’s a reason why Sporty Spice is the only one without a fella!

Despite my love of football, I’ve never seen Bend it Like Beckham. Pathetically, this is mainly down to the fact that my lifelong hatred of Manchester United has precluded me from watching anything with ‘Beckham’ in the title. Having (just about) grown up enough to finally watch the damn thing, I was pleased to find out that Beckham himself only appears as a pin up on someone’s wall. Indeed, Gurinder Chadha’s film isn’t even about football, not really…

Jess (Parminder Nagra) is torn between her love for the Beautiful Game and her loyalty to her traditional Indian family. This is further complicated by her burgeoning relationship with fellow footballer Jules (Keira Knightley) and their coach Joe (Jonathan Rhys Meyers).

Chadha has proven adept at portraying life in Britain through the prism of immigration since Bend it Like Beckham, namely with the heart warming ode to Bruce Springsteen Blinded by the Light. Despite success with Bhaji on the Beach and What’s Cooking?, it was …Beckham that really catapulted Chadha into the public eye, and it’s easy to see why. A simple but relatable story. Two likeable lead actresses to root for. A sharp script. An eclectic supporting cast. It’s all there. In reality however, of all the British comedies of this era, from The Full Monty via East is East and eventually to Billy Elliott, Bend It Like Beckham is just not quite as good as the aforementioned. It’s too long for a start, and the premise of arranged marriages too tired.

Films about football are notoriously terrible (Fever Pitch and Mike Bassett: England Manager aside), and while Bend It Like Beckham avoids many of the pitfalls that render football so uncinematic, it still isn’t funny enough or emotionally engaging enough to really be considered a success. Also, Rhys Meyers’ character is just creepy. I wouldn’t want that guy coaching my daughter’s football team.

Full time.