‘I wasn’t cursed. I am the curse… Everyone I love, I hurt…’
Back in the ’90s (here he goes…), TV shows like The X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer would be knocking out 22 episodes a year, and most of it was excellent. Sure, you’d have to put up with the occasional terrible episode, but on the whole, those shows delivered quantity and quality. And yet, here we are, supposedly in 2026, and we’re waiting over three years to be served up this hot garbage…
I’ll be honest, I can’t be arsed to go over the plot here. I’ve already devoted way too much time to this stupid TV show as it is. Let’s just dive into it so we can all go home. Let’s start with the positives. The final battle with Vecna is fine. Joyce Byers (Winona Ryder) chopping his head off with an axe was excellent. All the scenes featuring either Murray, Mr. Clarke, or Hopper were varying degrees of enjoyable. ‘Here Comes Your Man’ by The Pixies (one of my favourite songs of all time) was a good needle drop. I think that’s probably it. Now into the bad stuff. Strap in.
When choosing a cast of child actors, it’s nigh on impossible to predict who will still be watchable when they’re older. Game of Thrones suffered massively in this same area, as did the Harry Potter franchise. The success rate here, however, was pretty much zero. Other than Sadie Sink and maybe Gaten Matarazzo, it’s safe to say that this is the end of all of their careers. Millie Bobby Brown… eesh. I don’t want to be too mean, so let’s just say I can see why she was mostly mute in the first few seasons. Noah Schnapp as Will Byers, given way too much to do here, also struggles badly. Luckily, Joe Keery and Maya Hawke continue to do great work as Steve Harrington and ‘Rocking’ Robin Buckley, but even they struggle with some of the inane dialogue they are asked to deliver here. And the pacing… that moment I mentioned earlier, when Joyce decapitates Vecna, is somehow barely halfway through this episode. What the hell are we doing here? Is this Return of the King? Why do we have fifteen endings, all of them equally dull?
The main issue I keep coming back to is the time jump. These characters lack chemistry now, and in most cases, they seem to be playing roles that have no relation to the characters we fell in love with in the first place. It makes for a surprisingly soulless and empty finale, which occasionally succeeds in providing a spectacle but has no stakes (because they won’t allow any of the significant characters to die) and no emotional hook. If I’m being honest, the main emotion I felt throughout this finale was boredom.
I’ve been a Stranger Things advocate from the very beginning (I covered the first season on this very blog), and regular readers will know that I’m far from being a contrarian. Generally, if lots of people like a thing, I endeavour to find out why people like it so I can like it too. But this finale is just objectively unsuccessful. A massive disappointment.
