Film Review: xXx – 6/10

‘I’ve been risking my life for a lot of stupid reasons…’

xXx (2002) | MUBI

The Expendables movies kind of destroyed the action movie genre. Whilst I did enjoy all of them, the fact that they took all the ridiculous action movie tropes and delivered them with a knowing wink to camera ensured that all future films featuring big muscled movie stars firing guns went down the same road. This misses the point of what made those 80s action movies so beloved in the first place. It was the fact that they took themselves so seriously that made them such a joy. xXx is a throwback to that era, and is arguably one of the last examples of an action movie with absolutely no self awareness. Sure, cinematically it is terrible, but it’s still a hell of a lot of fun.

Xander Cage (Vin Diesel) is hired by shady government agent Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson) to infiltrate some eastern European gangsters. There is also somebody who makes gadgets, a femme fatale (Asia Argento) and Danny Trejo. Oh, and the protagonist is really into extreme sports for some reason. There is a lot to unpack.

I could write all day about the many flaws that define xXx. It’s derivative. It’s way, way too long. The dialogue is corny. The CGI and prosthetics are horribly dated. But you don’t go into a Vin Diesel film for high art. You go for explosions, one liners and to see Vin snowboarding away from a helicopter. And in that respect, Rob Cohen’s movie delivers. It’s very much of its time, but if you grew up in the era of Arnie and Jean Claude Van Damme, you will find plenty to enjoy here.

xXx is basically like a low rent, American version of Bond. There are no surprises, but then nor should there be. Sit back. Remove brain. Pour drink. Enjoy the ride.