‘What’s the point of art if nobody sees it?’
Films about the art world are generally pretty terrible. And by that I mean The Monuments Men is genuinely one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. I’ve had more enjoyable dentist appointments and my dentist used to always ask me if I’d been kissing any girls. I hadn’t. He always seemed disappointed. I mention The Monuments Men here simply because Velvet Buzzsaw reminded me of that film. This is not a good thing…
The art world is shaken to the core by the discovery of a slew of evocative and ingenious paintings by an unknown artist. Art critic Morf Vendewolt (Jake Gylenhaal) investigates.
For a film to be successful, it must have a protagonist who is either likeable and relatable or unique and interesting. Velvet Buzzsaw instead has a whole cast of unlikable caricatures who are as vacuous as they are pretentious. Director Dan Gilroy seems to be satirising that pretentiousness whilst simultaneously producing a film that is, in its very essence, pretentious. Gilroy is trying to have his artisan cake and eat it.
This is a shame because Velvet Buzzsaw has a starry cast with John Malkovich, Toni Collette and Rene Russo joining Gylenhall in an ensemble that still manage to share zero chemistry. Relative newcomer Zawe Ashton – UK viewers will recognise her as Vod from Fresh Meat – fares better, delivering a nuanced and compelling performance as the wonderfully named Rhodora Haze but it’s not enough to save a sinking ship.
The concept of paintings coming to life to punish those that profit from them is a sound one and if Gilroy had gone full horror film, Velvet Buzzsaw could have offered up something interesting. In the end though it turns out to be a limp and forgettable experiencre. A film lacking in any kind of emotional resonance. The ultimate example of style over substance.
Netflix has produced some of the most memorable television moments of the last decade but Velvet Buzzsaw is a humbling reminder that they are yet to conquer the world of cinema.