‘Welcome to the North Pole…’
When the first Christmas Chronicles dropped back in 2018, a time of hugging, shaking hands and open pubs as far as the eye could see, I wrote a review praising it for its traditional approach to the Christmas film, but also for Kurt Russell as Santa. Let’s be honest, mainly for Kurt Russell as Santa. He carried that film on his lustrous white beard, and beautiful wise cracking face, ensuring that it became an unlikely sleeper hit that Christmas. For this belated sequel, we have Chris Columbus sat in the director’s chair and on writing duties. This is the same Chris Columbus that brought us Home Alone. The same Chris Columbus that brought us Gremlins for chrissakes! Heck, he might as well be called Christmas Columbus at this point. And yet… this sequel is absolutely, positively terrible.
Kate Pierce (Darby Camp) has grown up and now hates Christmas because she is an ungrateful little turd. Spending Christmas on an idyllic sun-drenched island is not enough for her, and as a result of this she is kidnapped by a rogue elf named Belsnickel (Julian Dennison) who inexplicably has a kiwi accent. Kurt Russell is still present, but he is lacking the lustre that made him so irresistible in the first movie. In fact, everything about the Christmas Chronicles 2 is just like the same movie except not as good.
Columbus strives to hit every conceivable Christmas cliche going, and in doing so, he has crafted a film that surely could only appeal to small children and the simple minded. There isn’t a shred of originality here. The musical numbers are uninspiring and forgettable. The elves unbearable. The acting (Russell aside) offensive. It is clear that even one sequel is a massive step too far for this franchise, so I dread to think what the crushingly inevitable third Christmas Chronicle will deliver next Christmas.
Even allowing for the fact that Christmas films must be judged by their own, special set of merits. This is a bad film. In fact, has there ever been a good Christmas film sequel? Home Alone 2 at a stretch? Regardless of that, this is truly harrowing. You’ve been warned.