‘This secret dies with you…’
Being a completist is both illogical and frustrating. Of course, I knew that I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer would be absolutely terrible. But, I have watched the first two films in the franchise in preparation for the new one that is currently stinking up cinemas, and so, I felt obliged to watch this third entry too. And, obviously, it’s atrocious…
Following a prank gone wrong, a bunch of teenagers in the town of Broken Ridge, Colorado, are stalked by a man in a fisherman’s jacket holding a hook. That’s it.
Honestly, every single thing about this piece of shit is appalling. The washed out colour palette. The frenetic, and frankly annoying, editing. The awful acting. The dreadful score. The only reason I didn’t score it zero is that I did enjoy the fake out in the opening scene. After that, everything goes downhill real fast. The death sequences are hard to make out and uninspired. It seems to drag on for eternity. It’s so damn boring. This is a film that has 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. The characters repeatedly say out loud “I know what you did last summer” which makes no sense because that’s not even the title of this movie. We are talking one of the worst horror sequels ever produced.
Many years ago, I once stood in dogshit in my bare feet. That experience was more enjoyable than sitting through I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer. This is a film without a shred of artistic integrity. I despised it.
