‘Long live… the king.’
Well, it happened. I fell into the goddamn trap. Because I quite enjoyed Kong: Skull Island, I’ve been tricked, hoodwinked and misled into believing that Godzilla: King of Monsters could be anything other than a steaming pile of dog turd. I mean… it’s there in the title isn’t it. Godzilla: King of the Monsters just sounds like it’s going to be awful. And sure enough, it is awful. How is it even possible to make a movie about huge monsters fighting it out to the death boring? How can that be? Although I suppose the Transformers franchise is proof that if you try hard enough, anything can be dull…
Green lizard attacks world. A slew of bored and bewildered actors try to stop him. Kyle Chandler is there. So is Vera Farmiga. None of them seem even remotely interested in green lizard and his progress. Which is a shame because this cast, with this premise should at least be a whole lot of fun. Instead, it is just a whole load of action movie cliches and truly, unspeakably awful dialogue.
And yet… this piece of excreta has given rise to a sequel, Godzilla vs Kong, due out next year. And I suppose I’ll watch that as well, will I? Well, isn’t that just peachy. Green lizard bad is my main takeaway here. Stop making green lizard movies.
Just a terrible experience for all involved. Green lizard deserves better.