‘No kid, we don’t want to see your dick…’
Film Review: The End of the Tour – 7.5/10
‘I think being shy basically means being self-absorbed to the extent that it makes it difficult to be around other people.’
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Film Review: The Conjuring 2 – 4/10
‘There was a crooked man. He walked a crooked mile…’
Film Review: Suffragette – 7/10
‘I would rather be a rebel than a slave…’
Film Review: Starry Eyes – 7/10
“Ambition – the blackest of human desires. Everyone has it, but how many act on it?’
Film Review: Star Trek Beyond – 6/10
‘Fear of death is illogical…’
Historically, I was never really a fan of Star Trek. Indeed, at one point I saw it as a direct competitor of my beloved Star Wars and so became smarmily dismissive of Trekkies and the franchise they followed. It was JJ Abrams who converted me with his 2009 reboot but I don’t have the requisite background knowledge to really appreciate the new Star Trek movies as I should. I enjoyed Into Darkness but that is probably related to my undying love of all things Cumberbatch.
As we reach the third instalment I don’t think there is enough going to really capture and hold my interest. The introduction of Idris Elba, the world’s most boring and overrated actor, only added to my growing sense of ennui whilst watching Star Trek Beyond.
The casting of the main Star Trek crew has always been the reboots’ secret weapon but there isn’t enough humour or panache in the script to make the most of the talent available. Many people complain about the Marvel movies feeling ubiquitous and samey, watching Star Trek Beyond I understand how they feel. I don’t know whether it is my lack of interest in Star Trek on the whole or diminishing returns in terms of quality (or both), but Star Trek Beyond took me three sittings to sit through. I kept being distracted by pictures of cats or my actual cat or other cat related shenanigans.
There are a few genuinely memorable scenes in Star Trek Beyond and the main cast once again perform admirably but when you are constantly being upstaged by both real and fictional cats it is probably time to stop making new Star Trek movies for a while.
Film Review: Split – 6/10
“You like to make fun of us, but we are more powerful than you think…’
Film Review: Snowpiercer – 7/10
‘You know what I hate about myself? I know what people taste like. I know babies taste the best…’
Film Review: Shakespeare In Love – 7/10
‘We must show them that we are men of parts. Will Shakespeare has a play. I have a theatre…’
Film Review: Sausage Party – 7/10
‘Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgement, let me educate you…’