A festival for the likes of me…
Ozzfest. Leeds Festival. V Festival. Tramlines. And now Bearded Theory. There rests the exhaustive list of festivals I have attended since my first one back in 2001 at the tender age of 14. A lot has changed since then. I’m fatter, older and a little more balding. I can now slice bread properly without massacring it into sad, uneven blocks. One thing hasn’t changed however, there are still few better feelings than standing in a muddy field with your friends watching live music…
Bearded Theory is an independent music festival that has no sponsorship or branding and is now entering its 11th year. After repeatedly winning awards and garnering a tonne of good will, expectations were high for this year’s festival and a line up containing the likes of Robert Plant, Sleaford Mods and Blossoms only added to the air of excitement.
Due to the constant distraction of having a job, we arrived on the Friday night too late to catch Sleeper or The Coral but we had pitched our tents and rocked up to the main stage just as The Jesus and Mary Chain were beginning. The Scottish indie heroes have never been a band that I have loved but they are professional and tight and the power of standout tracks ‘Amputation’ and ‘Some Candy Talking’ can’t be denied. Blossoms are up next and while there is a lingering feeling that the band are a little overrated, they sound crisp and polished. Their total lack of a stage presence is masked by a strong selection of songs but even note perfect renditions of ‘Blow’ and ‘I Can’t Stand It’ don’t stop us stumbling over to the Woodland Stage to find a good spot to watch Milburn.
There are rumours that Milburn will go on hiatus again after their upcoming Tramlines appearance and that would be a shame as they are undoubtedly one of the most reliable live acts on the circuit right now. Struggles with sound quality are soon overcome and tracks like ‘Count to Ten’ and ‘Lipstick Licking’ are still the live favourites that they always have been. The best moment of the night is reserved for a joyous run through of ‘What You Could’ve Won’ and, on a stage shaded by beautiful woodland and drenched in rhubarb cider, everyone heads back to the campsite with a smile on their face and a song in their cold, dead hearts.
Saturday begins and ends with one band. Idles took an afternoon set on a hazy Saturday afternoon and turned it into a riot. From the second the Bristol band storm the stage they are as captivating and passionate as a band could possibly hope to be. Singer Joe Talbot prowls the stage like a demented choir master, stamping his feet and staring down the crowd. Guitarist Mark Bowen is the bands real MVP however, attacking his guitar in a manner that at times made me concerned for his safety. It is no surprise when he ends up wading into the crowd on a number of occasions.
Idles debut album Brutalism was one of the best of 2017 and it is played with gusto here. ‘Mother’ is a feminist anthem that avoids sounding preachy, ‘1049 Gotho’ puts a snarling face to crippling depression and ‘Divide & Conquer’ is a call to arms for a crowd who didn’t realise they needed one. A stunning and unforgettable performance.
We all need a bit of a break after the sonic assault of Idles so laid back, kings of New York Fun Lovin’ Criminals are the perfect antidote. I had never really realised before how accomplished the band are as musicians but it is the eternal cool of frontman Huey Morgan that makes them such a successful live act.
It all sounds good but we are there for hits and burritos. I eat one, while the Fun Lovin’ Criminals provide the other. ‘Scooby Snacks’ is the biggie of course and it sounds glorious in the pounding Derbyshire sunshine.
Sleaford Mods follow. There have already been thousands of words written about how imposing Jason Williamson is a live performer so all I will add is that the rowdy Nottingham two piece are as engaging as ever. The crowd go bananas for ‘Jobseeker’ but the whole set is a glorious mash up of spoken word diatribes set to minimalist beats and I don’t envy anyone who has to follow one of the best live acts in the country right now.
Having said that you would think that a legend like Led Zeppelin frontman Robert Plant would have no issues in that area. Despite a few Led Zep songs, it is clear that this is the wrong booking for the wrong time. After being amped up by the rowdy brilliance of Idles and Sleaford Mods, the more acoustic stylings of Plant are a bit of a disappointment. His voice still sounds okay and there are flashes of his former glory, notably a beautiful version of ‘Please Read the Letter’ and a strong rendition of ‘Going to California’, but, ultimately, in the shadow of the never more relevant ravings of Sleaford Mods, Plant looks like a man out of time.
The eagle eyed among you may notice that Bearded Theory actually had bands playing on the Sunday as well. Unfortunately, our party wound up eating burritos, drinking rum and arguing about Dave Grohl, so we didn’t see a single band on the festivals final day. No regrets.
Bearded Theory is a world away from the consumerist, logo-in-the-foam world of festivals like Leeds Fest or even Tramlines and it is all the better for it. Set in a beautiful forest and attended by Levellers fans and cheerful madmen, I can’t recommend this medium sized festival enough.
They also do a mean burrito.