31 Days of Night: Halloween II (2009) – 7/10

‘Only a river of blood can bring us back together….’

Why Rob Zombie's Halloween II is (Almost) a Masterpiece

And so… I’ve made it. We’ve made it. 31 long days and even longer nights. Each one culminating in a different twisted tale of the mind. And on this All Hallow’s Eve, as candles flicker and wind shrieks through the trees outside, I have time to reflect on the month past. What have I achieved? Very little in real terms. Very little except sometimes the shadows take on a different hue. My dreams are just a little more troubled than usual. That strange sound coming from the attic is a little more pronounced. Which brings us onto Halloween II.

We find the chess pieces unchanged from Rob Zombie’s first Halloween movie, but in wildly different positions. Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) has gone from being the all American girl next door to an emo tearaway. Dr Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) is no longer the tortured intellectual who failed in his greatest test, but a grasping opportunist, mostly played for laughs. And as for Michael… why Michael is barely present at all…

One of the great strengths of Zombie’s first contribution to the Myers myth was an attempt to explain his madness. In this, the noted horror director did a good job. Fleshing out Myers’ back story only made him more frightening. His humanity exacerbated his menace. In Halloween II, Zombie makes the inexplicable decision to pivot from Michael Myers to Jason Voorhees and his mummy issues. The constant spectre of Michael’s mom is as confusing as it is unwanted. Sometimes she is accompanied by a white horse. It’s that kind of movie.

This is a real shame because there is a lot to love here. Tyler Mane’s portrayal of the Shape is both shocking and breathtaking in its brutality. The moments of levity sprinkled throughout are genuinely funny, and mostly don’t detract from the action. The cast throw everything into it with Brad Dourif and Halloween veteran Danielle Harris impressing once again as the father-daughter duo of Sheriff Brackett and Annie Brackett. Sadly, these snippets of inventiveness are cancelled out by an uneven performance from Taylor-Compton (asked to stray way too far out of her comfort zone), some confusing plotting and an overly long running time. No film about a guy running around in a mask should be pushing two hours long.

That being said, this is still a Halloween movie. Every year, my wife and I watch a different movie from the Halloween franchise, and every year, it is the highlight of the season. You just can’t beat Myers on October 31st. He is the mad king of the holiday and always will be.

For those that have stuck with this project from the start, thanks for reading. If I can summon the strength, I’ll see you all again next year. Now go and rest in peace on this fine Halloween evening. Pay no mind to the banging on the door or the dripping of the tap. That way madness lies…