‘We’re going to Camp Crystal Lake...’
We’ve already established that whoever comes up with the titles of the Friday the 13th films sits on a throne of lies. The Final Chapter wasn’t the final chapter (it wasn’t even the halfway point). A New Beginning wasn’t a new beginning. Jason didn’t ‘take’ Manhattan. And, dear reader, it is with a heavy heart that I must report that our favourite hockey mask wearing killer doesn’t go to hell in this chapter either. Nor is it the ‘final’ Friday…
After being literally torn to pieces in the film’s remarkable opening scene, Jason Vorhees (Kane Hodder) lives on through his cold, dead heart. Soon after comes the revelation (delivered by an absolutely preposterous character named ‘Duke’) that only a Vorhees can kill Jason. Something that has never been mentioned at any point before. After dispatching a couple of teenagers, Jason goes after his niece Jessica (Kari Keegan) whose only protection is her baby daddy and all-round doofus Steven (John D. LeMay). Unfortunately for everyone, however, Jason isn’t actually Jason. Instead, the spirit of Jason inhabits the bodies of various characters via his heart turning into some kind of worm creature and entering through the mouth. None of this happens in hell, obviously.
The main problem here is that by the time we’ve reached the ninth film in a horror franchise, I’m here for the villain. I don’t give a shit about any of the other characters. Give me Jason. The great tragedy of this film, as with A New Beginning (the worst film in the franchise) is that there is hardly any Vorhees in it. He appears at the beginning and the end, and these bookends provide the best moments of Adam Marcus’ sole entry into the Friday franchise.
In the end, none of this works, and despite a few nods to other horror films (most notably The Evil Dead and The Thing) and the now iconic final shot (which I won’t spoil here, but trust me, it’s awesome), Jason Goes to Hell must go down as one of the worst films in the franchise.
