‘A web would indicate an arachnoid presence...’
I’ve been terrified of spiders since I accidentally tipped a cup containing a massive spider onto my face when I was a kid. Since that awful moment, I have become convinced that all spiders are trying to get into my mouth. Regrettably, despite, or perhaps because of, the fact that I fear them so much, I’m also fascinated by spiders. Every six months or so I’ll Google search images of the Goliath Bird Eating Spider and just stare at the results in utter horror before going for a quick cry in the shower. It is perhaps no surprise then that while I have seen Arachnophobia once before this viewing, I have never returned to it as an adult. Sure enough, it’s fucking horrifying…
Dr. Ross Jennings (Jeff Daniels) leaves the bright lights of the big city to become a small-town doctor in the fictional town of Canaima, California. Unbeknown to him, the town is about to become infested by some of the most terrifying on-screen spiders I’ve ever had the misfortune to witness. Sure, some of them are artificial but most of them aren’t. You can tell. You can see the evil in their eyes. Elsewhere, ineffectual bug exterminator Delbert McClintock (John Goodman) tries in vain to destroy his eight-legged nemeses.
Steven Spielberg’s production company Amblin Entertainment had a hand in the production of Arachnophobia and it really shows. Nobody nails the feel of small-town America like Spielberg and Amblin and so despite being full to the nines of bastard spiders, Frank Marshall’s film still feels cosy. Daniels is a perfect fit for this world (he makes for a great everyman) and his subtle humour and impeccable comic timing ensure that Arachnophobia perfects the difficult-to-pull-off balancing act of horror and comedy. My one criticism is that while I enjoyed the world-building and the creation of tension, the big spider attack occurs too late into the film and doesn’t hit hard enough (although one sequence in which a bunch of spiders erupt out of a plughole gave me nightmares for weeks when I was younger).
Arachnophobia isn’t perfect, but for my money, it’s the best spider-related creature feature and a lot of fun. Now, let’s burn every copy of it and never speak of it again.
