‘We got a big toe in the morgue once. Nothing else; just a big toe…’
It’s weird what becomes a cult classic and what doesn’t because for the life of me I’ve no idea why people aren’t attending Alligator conventions every year. I went into this film with the lowest of expectations but to say I came away pleasantly surprised would be a gigantic understatement…
All detectives in old movies either have to be new recruits; freshly transferred from another department; or a week away from retirement. In Alligator, Det. David Madison (Robert Forster) is the former having moved to Chicago from St. Louis following the death of his partner. Almost immediately upon arrival, a fucking massive Alligator arrives and starts devouring innocent bystanders. The alligator has become a horrifying mutation after feasting on discarded animal carcasses from a local scientific institute who are attempting to create massive dogs or something. It’s never really clear. Elsewhere, Michael V. Gazzo from The Godfather shows up and shouts every single one of his lines like he’s talking to an elderly, stone-deaf relative. There is also a romantic subplot involving an impossibly young doctor (Robin Riker) and a recurring bit about how Forster is going bald. It’s all incredible stuff that I enjoyed very much.
Director Lewis Teague has form in this area having also directed Cujo (about a massive murderous dog) and Cat’s Eye (about a normal-sized, mostly helpful cat), as well as Navy Seals (although I don’t think that one has any actual seals in it). Just like with Cujo, Teague crafts a convincing movie monster here, which is so vital to the success of the film. Bad alligator = bad film. The huge alligator model was 30ft long and needed two men to operate it. It looks tremendous. It’s also an absolute pleasure to see Forster giving this project just the right amount of gravitas. He plays it perfectly.
Alligator has it all. It’s intentionally funny, it’s unintentionally funny, it’s cheesy, it’s camp but it’s also menacing when it needs to be. I am genuinely stunned that this isn’t a cult classic. I adored it.
