‘They took my grandfather. That’s why I really hate sharks...’
A B movie by definition means low-budget, low-stakes action created as pure entertainment and with little artistic merit. That doesn’t mean they have to be bad. Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a B movie. Tremors is a B movie. There are other great examples out there. Sharknado, however, is a terrible movie. Now, I’m going to across as grumpy here, as there are probably certain conditions that could render the experience of watching this film a lot of fun (namely by being shitfaced), but I found very little to enjoy here. And this was my second viewing…
Must we explain the plot? I mean, it’s there in the title. There is a tornado. There are sharks. Even Anthony C. Ferrante, the film’s director, was dismissive of the plot, stating, “There’s a flood. And a storm. Don’t worry about it”. And, so we mustn’t. The cast is led by Ian Ziering as Fin (really), but we are also treated to the presence of Tara Reid (who at least understands the assignment) and John Heard (who looks mortified throughout).
There is very little of value here it has to be said. The constant barrage of terrible CGI makes for an entertaining trailer, but a truly excretable film. The direction is completely bereft of invention, the cinematography flat and colourless, the dialogue is hard to listen to… it’s just all terrible. The only moment in the entire film that lifted me out of my stupor was the final set piece in which a man jumps into the mouth of a shark wielding a chainsaw. Just typing that sentence has made me tired.
Somehow, this film spawned five sequels with titles such as Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! and The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time, as well as three spin offs (Lavalantula being the most prominent), which just goes to show that people love shit. They literally can’t get enough of it.
Sharknado is barely a film. It’s anti-cinema. Worst of all, it’s not even fun. If I ever watch this piece of garbage again you have permission to have me arrested.
I will say, as a final kicker, however, that the below exchange is genuinely funny…
