‘You look like a seal in that. Sharks love seals...’
Sometimes, a film is good, so comprehensively adored, that it becomes the final word on whatever kind of film it is. Every film about aliens will always be compared to Alien, any film about space travel will always be compared to 2001: A Space Odyssey, and every film about sharks will always, ALWAYS, be compared to Jaws. The Reef has this working against it and also the fact that it offers up absolutely no memorable moments during its bland 94 minute run time…
A bunch of incredibly dull, never-to-be-heard-from-again, Australian actors take to the seas only to find themselves stranded in shark infested waters. That’s it. That’s the film. Writer-director Andrew Traucki makes no effort to flesh out the characters on screen as well as offering up inane and often excretable dialogue and less growing and learning than a Seinfeld episode. If you don’t care about the characters, then it doesn’t matter how good the shark attacks are.
The Reef is the kind of film that I had already forgotten by the end of the credits and will no doubt never think of again. In a year or two, I imagine someone will ask me if I’ve seen it, and I’ll confidently tell them I haven’t. I must admit at this point that I just don’t find sharks frightening. That’s not to say that I wouldn’t shit my pants if I were to actually come face to face with the buggers but as that’s incredibly unlikely to happen in landlocked South Yorkshire, I find it difficult to get worked about them. Indeed, There is a fairly strong argument that Jaws is actually the only good shark movie.
Unfortunately, this is the beginning of a run of shark films I will now be embarking on due to their appearance on the Evolution of Horror podcast. Expect more grumpy reviews to follow. Stupid sharks.
