‘Ah, body bags. You see, if it’s murder, suicide or a nasty accident, they put them in here...’
Having revolutionised horror in the ’70s and ’80s with Halloween and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, respectively, legendary directors John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper were on a downward slide when they united for the mostly forgotten anthology horror film Body Bags in 1993. Carpenter was about to embark on a rotten run of movies, including an ill-fated Village of the Damned remake, an unnecessary Escape from New York sequel and a truly terrible vampire movie (imaginatively titled Vampires). Hooper was ten years removed from Poltergeist by this point and only three years away from directing The Mangler – notoriously one of the worst Stephen King adaptations. Despite this film arriving when both Carpenter and Hooper were clearly past their best, there is still plenty here to enjoy…
Carpenter himself plays the host of the film, in a role very reminiscent of the cryptkeeper from Tales from the Crypt, and the connecting tissue that runs through all three entries here is celebrity cameos, most of whom are culled from the world of horror movies. The first story sees Alex Datcher as Anne – an unfortunate college student who arrives at her first shift as a gas station attendant (in Haddonfield – the Easter eggs are not subtle here) only to find that there is a murderous maniac on the loose and she is in mortal danger. Genre character actor Robert Carradine (Revenge of the Nerds) is Anne’s co-worker who shows her the ropes, and Wes Craven and Sam Raimi also appear in rare acting roles. The second story, entitled Hair, has Stacy Keach ruminating about the fact he is losing his hair and so being persuaded to sign up for a hair treatment clinic run by the mysterious Dr. Lock (David Warner). This segment features cameos from Debbie Harry, Sheena Easton and renowned make-up artist Greg Nicotero. The final entry about a baseball player (Mark Hamill) who loses an eye and agrees to an experimental eye transplant also features ’60s icon Twiggy and legendary B-movie producer Roger Corman. If you can find me a weirder cast than that anywhere in the history of cinema, I’ll be impressed.
As with all horror anthology movies, this one is a mixed bag. The first story is fun if forgettable and inconsequential. The second entry fares better with Keach clearly enjoying himself in a starring role (although the flat ending lets it down somewhat). The third entry, and the only one directed by Carpenter, is probably the most effective, with Hamill, always a reliable and underused actor, delivering the best performance of any of the films. Despite being past his prime, there are still plenty of nice touches from Carpenter in the final segment, and it is satisfying to see him utilise so much humour, both on and offscreen, given that he has now cultivated such a reputation for being a grumpy old man.
Body Bag is far removed from the best work of both Carpenter and Hooper, but I’m surprised it’s not more renowned in the horror community, as the slew of cameos and the presence of its superstar directors ensure that this film is one of the better horror anthology movies on the market.
