12 Days of Christmas Films – Day 11: Mixed Nuts (1994)

‘My psychiatrist thinks we should break up…’

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This is one of those examples where a film is fascinating simply because of how bad it is. Celebrated writer/director Nora Ephron along with a talented ensemble cast made up of Steve Martin, Madeline Kahn, Juliette Lewis, Adam Sandler and Liev Schreiber, somehow manage to produce one of the biggest cinematic turds this side of Deck the Halls. This is such a turkey that even Scrooge would have turned it away at the end of A Christmas Carol (although technically that is a goose that Scrooge asks the small boy to buy for him, because nothing says Merry Christmas like being a pedant).

Lifesavers is an ailing crisis hotline centre staffed by a socially inept maniac (Steve Martin), a misanthropic matriarch (Madeline Kahn) and a depressed loser (Rita Wilson). If that sounds bleak and downbeat, that’s because it is.

The whole joke of something like Bad Santa is that it intentionally riffs on the saccharine wholesomeness of Christmas movies by making something that is the exact opposite. Mixed Nuts also takes this approach but in a way that seems unintentional. This results in a movie that just feels off. The tone is all wrong for a Christmas comedy. The jokes are not just in bad taste, they are actually quite upsetting. And not in a snowflakey way but more in a people-committing-suicide-at Christmastime-just-isn’t-funny kinda way.

Mixed Nuts isn’t a complete failure. There is the occasional flash of humour amidst the dross and, Liev Schreiber produces a genuinely compelling performance in his first ever film role, but ultimately it isn’t enough to save Mixed Nuts from oblivion. Which is way I’m sure that 99.9% of people reading this have never heard of it, despite the starry cast and unique plot.

Watching Mixed Nuts wasn’t an awful experience, and I’ve seen way worse movies, but it is proof, if any were needed, that the 12 Days of Christmas Films has run its course. Imagine next year when I can just watch whatever Christmas movie I damn well please. Now that will be a Christmas miracle.

One more to go… Let’s do this.